Dear Daddy (Pops),

I didn’t have the courage or mental strength to speak at your funeral. I’ve never liked being the center of attention, and I can’t speak in front of a crowd—big or small. It kind of reminds me of when God called on Moses to speak to Pharaoh, and Moses said he wasn’t eloquent. God told him to go and get his brother Aaron to help him. Well, I got the rest of my siblings to say all the right things… and best believe, they were spot on, Pops! They did really well. You’d be proud.

I never really gave "main character energy"—I'm more of a supporting, behind-the-scenes type. I knew that really came through when I got sorted into Hufflepuff on the Hogwarts website, but I digress. The Virgo in me likes things to be perfect... and that strive for perfection was never required in your eyes.

I remember when I was younger and I had a recipe for cookies that I wanted to make for Mom. I’m not sure where she was, but you, despite being exhausted from work and taking care of all of us, indulged me. You let me turn on the oven and mix the ingredients. Well, I added a tablespoon of baking soda instead of a teaspoon. When the cookies came out, they were rock hard. I was crushed. I ran to the bathroom in tears, devastated. But instead of saying, “We’ll try again tomorrow,” you, in your patient and ever-supporting way, took me back into the kitchen and let me try again.

Over the years, I’ve tried and failed at many things, but you never wavered when it came to offering words of wisdom. One of my favorites was, “Do what you can do, and piss on the rest!” At the end of the day, I always ask myself if I did all I could. If the answer is yes, I still worry about it. LOL! I said I’m a Virgo, right? We’re worriers by nature. But I try to let it go.

I remember watching football and basketball games with you. You always rooted for the underdogs, never switching teams—even when they were down by double digits. I know I did things out of order growing up because I was hard-headed and stubborn, but you never gave up on me. I know you were rooting for me (probably harder than Tyra Banks ever did!). You passed away before I could tell you that I made the Dean’s List this semester at school, so keep cheering me on, Pops, and I’ll keep pushing to make you proud.

I know me and my siblings drove you and Mom crazy with our arguing and fighting as kids, but just so you know, those jokers turned out alright. You raised some solid people who came through when it counted. We’ll be alright, Daddy. I’ll keep my eyes on everybody.

Ashton, Jayden, and Hunter all miss you terribly. So do I! Not gonna lie, Dad, it sucks MAJORLY. You were an amazing father and grandfather. You always did things with us that didn’t cost much—flying kites or going to the park—but those were the moments that meant the most. And you made the best beef jerky, by the way… which, if you ever sent any for us via Ashton, we never got it. Pretty sure he ate it all and never shared! LOL!

I think I’ll miss your smile and laughter, along with those really tight hugs Dawn spoke about at your viewing. I promise this letter is going somewhere (I also have ADHD, Dad, so just buckle in and follow me). God knew exactly what He was doing when He blessed us with you as our father. I know now that I get my kindness, compassion, and sense of humor from you. You had a heart of gold, always giving and never asking for anything in return. You sacrificed so much so we could have everything we needed, and for that, I say thank you.

You left big shoes to fill, Daddy, and I’ll do my best to keep pushing forward. I had you as my dad for 48 years, and it wasn’t nearly long enough. Keep your eyes on us, Pops, and keep leaving us dimes! I’ll try my best to be an awesome Gigi to my grandbabies (August and Lynnie). Give Grandma and Grandpa a squeeze for me. This isn’t goodbye, Daddy—it's just an “I’ll see you later.”

I’ll love and miss you every single day, Dad, until my last.

With all my love,
  Jennifer

*Jennifer, the second born child of Herman Lee Jr., resides in Houston, Texas, and is a devoted mother to Ashton, Jayden, and Hunter. With a heart full of love and compassion, she carries forward the lessons of strength, kindness, and resilience instilled by her father.